So I having been thinking a lot lately about this time of life and have various musings. One, it is definitely different than I thought it would be. And yet, in many ways, it is what I wanted: the wonderful husband, the gorgeous baby, the great friends... For the past few years I have realized that life is way harder than I thought it would be. I thought if I had the above mentioned blessings in life that I would be happy, content, and at peace. Instead I find myself here, with so much of what I wanted, still longing for so much more. I want to fight less with my husband, to give more willingly to my daughter, to know who I am more confidently and to live and love more fully and selflessly.
I remember back in late high school days my friends and I would sit around and pontificate on what it meant to feel the pangs of living on this side of eternity. Looking back now I realize that we didn't even begin to understand what that would mean. But that adolescent angst turned out to be all too true to the struggle that is part of this life. And now, more than 10 years later I realize that this is life: beautiful, full of more joy than I could have ever dreamed, and so much harder than I ever wanted it to be... all rolled in to one big, messy, crazy package.
I am not a person who likes struggle, or even ambiguity. I grow weary very easily and go quickly toward anything that would bring resolution or seeming peace. But that doesn't seem to be what living life deeply looks like. (Rach, if you're reading this, remember when we used to talk so much about living deep lives??? )
And so back to the title of this blog: growing Richters. Here I am now: a Richter, a Mrs. Richter, a mommy Richter, and trying to learn what it means to grow in grace.
And now for some highlights of the journey:
She's just too cute after bath time...
Yep, she's sitting up in her high chair now, not eating but playing with toys.
And just some pics of our lazy Sunday together: